Mary Berry Comes to Carroll Side Road

Mary Berry Comes to Carroll Side Road - theHumm January 2022

By Glenda Jones

Mary Berry, that paragon of pastry and smiling tourist guide, has chosen to visit our humble home for an upcoming “Notflix” series. It’s a little intimidating to think we’ll be up there with the Downton Abbey castle, but hey, this is our castle, so I’m sure I can haul out the stops to make her stay the epitome of elegance and social grace.

She arrived last Friday as it began to snow. Her limo pulled up and TV crews, cameras, cables and lights were everywhere as the three dogs exploded out the door to greet her. She was polite as she brushed snow off her designer coat, but it was obvious she wasn’t a dog person when Diva licked her face. No apologies could be heard over the barking, so why bother. First faux pas, right there!

Below is Mary’s commentary for our house tour. Listen for her pleasant tone of condescension…

“This lovely country home has been on the property since 1994. Surrounded by 20 acres of woodland showing definite signs of LDD damage, this charming property supposedly boasts lovely summer gardens, not now discernable under too much snow. We were welcomed by the owner’s tribe of dogs and admonished not to let the snarky little cat out as we crowded into the entry hall, dripping snow. The lady of the house seemed to be cramming the vacuum into the front closet as she politely shook hands all around. (Probably my second faux pas).

“While she chose a more suitable wardrobe, she engaged her husband to regale us with history far too complicated to remember while we toured the home, ignoring the frantic barking behind us. The living room with well-worn furniture indicated a cozy space draped casually with a well-used afghan and a plethora of dog toys everywhere. The art collection was eclectic, and could have used a dusting before we arrived. According to the lady of the house, the cleaning woman ran off with the kitchen staff a week ago and she’s been left to manage on her own.

“I kept smiling sweetly as we peeked into the library where an antique desk scattered with papers held the place of honour. Bookshelves were overloaded with everything from the Canada Post directory to novels and textbooks, indicating the owners’ notion that every book should be kept. We thought it wise not to look in closets!

“The bedrooms displayed quilts and afghans, the work of the lady of the house, but off-limits to viewing due to the cat hiding under the covers. She definitely didn’t want company.

“As usual we were treated to a brisk walk in the woods. I donned my best hat and walking boots to hike the well-marked and groomed trails while the man of the house named every tree and its significance, every signpost and whom it commemorated, every rock they’d moved, and soooo much more. Our short hike lasted long enough to freeze my fingers, frenzy the dogs, and annoy the camera crew. (Too long, maybe?)

“Cocoa would have been welcome when we got home, but there was no time, as dinner preparations were next on our agenda. Off to the kitchen next where we were preparing my famous Jell-O dessert for presentation at the evening’s dinner party. The obstinate cook had left chaos when she left with the maid, and the lady of the house raced around assembling bowls and doing her best to prevent me from investigating the array of pots and pans stashed in the stove drawer. We laughed heartily as I talked her through boiling the kettle, combining the Jell-O powder with the hot water, stirring vigorously, and adding the cold water. We popped it in the fridge, shoving the carrots and left-over stew aside. Too bad the maid hadn’t cleaned that fridge before she left. We contemplated cake, but the oven was… well, let’s not go there.

“At precisely 4pm friends began to arrive for 4’s, that splendid part of the day when lights are low to hide the dust, animals are fed and quiet, dog toys are shoved aside, and the wine is poured and all is right with the world. The homeowners welcomed us like long-lost cousins as the TV crew plowed through the assembled guests. We drank and made merry, savouring local cheese and Ritz crackers, until we were called to table for a feast of left-over stew served in the dining room where placemats provided casual dining. Of course, my Jell-O dessert was the highlight of the dinner. Served in elegant crystal glasses of unknown vintage, the Jell-O shimmered beneath a soupcon of Cool Whip. All agreed it was a dinner they would replicate at home in the near future.

“We left the residence at the crack of dawn the next day, having spent the night in the production trailer parked in the driveway. We eschewed the offer of cornflakes, and beat a hasty retreat to the nearest Tim Hortons”.

Whew, that was exhausting! But we’re ever so proud that we pulled it off. You can watch for our segment some time in the distant future. Mary Berry is indeed the queen of elegance, and I feel we definitely lived up to her expectations. And if we didn’t — well, low lighting will hide a lot of housekeeping flaws, and who can resist Jell-O?

Jack Stekelenburg — “Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood?” - theHumm January 2022

By Sally Hansen

Art… and Soul

Ten years ago I wrote that “Renfrew metal sculptor Jack Stekelenburg enjoys challenging our preconceptions of art. Following in the footsteps of his philosophical and artistic mentors, he creates art as an unconscious, unscripted, wordless act of emotional expression. He also plays and experiments and grows as an artist.”

Sixteen years ago the writings of Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry David Thoreau inspired a construction worker from Renfre......

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Pop, Pivots & Pirouettes
Folkus presents The Pairs & Tragedy Ann,In-Person and Virtually! - theHumm January 2022

By Sandy Irvin

With excitement and joy, Folkus planned their 20th season this fall. We’re still hoping for joy, and we’re pivoting and pirouetting and taking all the precautions we can to ensure a safe and beautiful evening together. We really wanted to put Tragedy Ann and The Pairs on our stage because they absolutely love to sing, and they bring a delightful energy to the stage.

One of the things we really miss is gathering together. But some of us still aren’t ready to. And that’s ok. To make sure that peo......

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CANCELLED The Snow Moon Festival - theHumm January 2022

By Kris Riendeau

From the organizers of the Snow Moon Festival: "Unfortunately, after much discussion, we've made the difficult decision to postpone the festival to (February 4) 2023."

One thing is certain in these uncertain times — creativity is alive and flourishing in our area! Local venues have expanded patios, poured out into parking spaces, and even used hula hoops to socially-distance audience members keen to keep on experiencing the joys of live performances. Now that winter is upo......

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Meet the Artist —Mireille Asselin, Soprano - theHumm January 2022

Internationally acclaimed soprano and Almonte resident Mireille Asselin returned home briefly after performing the role of Amore in the Vancouver Opera’s production of Glück’s Orfeo ed Euridice, before setting off again to perform as a soloist in Handel’s masterpiece Messiah with the Rhode Island Symphony Orchestra. Mireille will be performing with pianist Frédéric Lacroix and violinist/violist Brenna Hardy-Kavanagh on January 16 at the Almonte Old Town Hall, in a ......

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Bane of All Things — a Début Novel - theHumm January 2022

By John Pigeau

Growing up, Leo Valiquette was fond of fantastical stories. The Star Wars saga, Tolkien’s Middle Earth books, and classics like Charlotte’s Web — these were the made-up worlds Leo liked to inhabit. Later, in high school, he liked to make up stories and was admittedly “a Dungeon & Dragons nerd.” At some point, he fashioned himself a decent writer, too. Now, many years on, he has realized a lifelong dream and published his first novel, an epic fantasy called Bane ......

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Carleton Place Library Reopens to the Public - theHumm January 2022

After a year-long renovation, the Carleton Place Public Library is open to the public again!

The updated interior features new meeting rooms, a laptop bar, new shelving and flooring throughout, energy-saving LED lighting, and fun reading cubbies for kids.

“The new interior is vibrant, accessible and welcoming,” explains library CEO Meriah Caswell. “We are thrilled to be able to welcome the community back to their library and want to thank everyone for their patience and understanding during......

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Almonte Lectures - theHumm January 2022

By Glenda Jones

Resolved: that the winter of 2022 will continue to provide interesting events.

Almonte Lectures almontelectures.net continues to live up to that resolution. The live-streamed editions held on the last Friday evening of each month have proven very popular, with up to one hundred participants tuning in every session.

The winter series will kick off on January 28 with Kris Riendeau’s presentation on the history and value of community theatre. Well-known as the editor of theHumm, Kris has been on the stage at the Almont......

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A New Year: Determined Action!
Lanark County Creates Its Climate Action Plan - theHumm January 2022

By Chandler Swain

Ahhh, good old January. Our time-honoured month to make clear, focused goals. It’s very common to do this on a personal basis, wanting to improve our health and wellbeing and initiate or complete projects and plans. But the wider view of this concept includes setting goals for our community: most specifically in this very challenging time, those that address the Climate Crisis.

We are all aware of the crisis that is looming if we don’t take the steps necessary to make our county — Lanark Count......

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Birdhouse Bonanza 2022 - theHumm January 2022

By Glenda Jones and Barb Carroll

Good news! The second annual online birdhouse auction, code name Birdhouse Bonanza, is coming in the last two weeks of April, 2022. This year’s proceeds will go to the Mississippi Madawaska Land Trust mmlt.ca to enable them to continue improving the High Lonesome Nature Reserve off Carbine Road in Pakenham. It is fitting that the MMLT is dedicating this event to the memory of the late Michael Macpherson who loved High Lonesome and worked diligently to protect this site during his lifetime.

The improvements at High Lonesome will include:

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Not In My Back Yard?
An Ode to Community Gardens - theHumm January 2022

By David Hinks

A community garden for every neighbourhood? There are many reasons why folks are turning their thoughts towards growing a few potatoes and carrots: global supply chain disruptions, extreme weather events, organic food untainted by chemicals, local food insecurity, just looking for a healthy outdoor activity, higher costs in the grocery store, more time on our hands for home projects, and the need to find something healthy for the kids to do are only a few!

So why grow food in a community ......

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